You probably think I am a jerk for referring to human beings in such a way, but it is true! Some people are just not worth your time and energy and should be disposed of just like your old box of pop CD’s from eighth grade. Unfortunately, ending relationships with people provides no chance of getting any money back like other types of clutter…

First let me talk about the kinds of people that ARE worth having in your life.

• Family – This one is obvious to me, but not to all. I know some families get along better than others, but regardless, there is always a bond that is like no other between a family. Do all that you can to sustain your relationship with your family and stay at peace. They are the ones who will be there for you until the end… no matter what. They are supportive and probably the people you know best in life. For those of you who have really rough family problems, I am sorry to hear that. Do all that you can to make amends, but if you can’t, hold on to the next two types of people!
• True Friends – True friends are hard to come by, so hold on to them as tight as possible when you find one! I let down a good friend of mine recently and have been regretting it ever since. True friends are always there for you. They support you, but are honest with you when you are being an idiot or making horrible choices. They want to see you happy and succeed. These are the people that you can do absolutely nothing with and have a good time. No entertainment is necessary. Cherish these ones!
• Significant Others – This one can go both ways. On one end, romantic love can be one of the most beautiful and amazing things in this world. They can be your family, friend, and spouse all rolled into one. On the other end, you must be careful! Some people prefer to be alone because they feel tied down by their significant other or feel like they have to make too many sacrifices for the relationship to work. The ones who love you for who you are no matter what are the keepers.

I believe that surrounding yourself with positive people is the best thing you can do for yourself. Their positive outlook will spread to you and you will be happier because of it. The happier you are, the more productive you will be, and the more fit you will be for making others happy!

On To The Clutter

Acquaintances, coworkers, classmates, neighbors, etc… These are all prime candidates for people that can clutter your life. No, not all of them will, but some could. You know someone is cluttering your life when:

• You dread returning their phone calls.
• You are never the one who calls them, they always call you.
• You converse only in small talk, not about things that have any real value.
• There is a silence when you are hanging out, it gets awkward, and one of you must stimulate the conversation for things to feel normal again.
• You would never call them if you truly needed help.
• You don’t fully trust them.
• The only thing that is keeping you together is one random, unimportant thing in common such as going to the same school, living in the same city, being the same age, or enjoying the same hobby.

Call me anti-social, I don’t care. I just hate fake relationships. I hate networking. I hate small talk. I hate talking about the weather. Stripping down the relationships in your life to the ones that truly matter can make your life a whole lot simpler. It will save you time, energy, and you won’t be misleading them either. I know some little chit chat must go on sometimes to stay at peace with people, but try not to dedicate a lot of time to people that are just draining you.

Now you might be wondering: How do I go about getting rid of these people?

It can be tricky and is not always easy. Some people will get the hint and stop bothering if you don’t return their phone calls. This works fine if you don’t see them often. When it comes to people you see everyday, it gets a little harder. I try to be as short with them as possible and don’t go out of my way to say hello or ask how they are doing. Basically just be nice enough to show that you are not a jerk, but mean enough to show them that you don’t want a relationship. And when I accidentally pick up calls from these people, I am completely honest with them.

Ring…

Clutter: Hey, want to see a movie tonight with some of my friends?

Me: Nah, I do not feel like it. Goodbye.

Easy as that!

Now go on, get rid of those time wasting, energy hogging, clutter sapiens.

Photo By Drown

Whenever I needed to mend a relationship or talk to someone about an important matter, my dad always suggested that I write them a letter. At first I thought his idea was ridiculous and old-fashioned. Why not just talk to them or give them a call on the phone? That would be so much quicker and so much easier!

That is what I thought, but after putting it into use it quickly became apparent that writing a letter is one of the most effective ways to communicate.

Why a Letter Is Better

• The timing – It takes a lot more time to write a letter to someone than to call them on the phone or speak with them in person. You have to get the paper, write it out by hand with a pen or pencil, fold the paper, seal it, address it, stamp it, and let it go through the be sent by mail. It is a long process considering how instant most of our world is today. Email, telephone, fast food, so much instant gratification. This tedious process of writing a letter is a good thing! Taking the time to write out the letter gives you time to think about your emotions. If you call someone right away in anger, you may regret it later. However, if you take the time to write a letter, it forces you to take some time and cool down about whatever the matter at hand is.

• It is planned and organized – When I write a letter, I know that I cannot just delete something, replace something, copy, paste, or delete like I can in an email or on a word processor. This forces me to organize my thoughts and emotions, plan out what I want to say, and really think about what it is that I want to communicate to this person before I start writing. Other forms of communication can sometimes end up with you rambling on about something, going off subject, or saying something that you regret later.

• You cannot be interrupted - Have you ever been in an emotional conversation or argument and been so close to convincing the other person to see things your way? So close to getting them to forgive you? So close to getting your point across and then BAM! They interrupt you… This can lead to a rant or ramble from them, you losing your train of thought and forgetting exactly what it is you wanted to say, you changing the way you feel and getting angry because of their interruption, or you interrupting them in return. With a letter, it is absolutely impossible for them to interrupt you. Your message is received in full with no breaks. Well, I guess they could destroy the letter before even reading it… but let’s hope things aren’t that bad.

• It is private – One of the most disrespectful and embarrassing things is an argument that is made public when it should clearly be handled in a private manner. I’ve seen it with teachers and students. I’ve seen it with parents and children. I’ve seen it with married couples. I’ve seen it with friends. I’ve seen it with managers and employees. I’ve seen it with absolute strangers. It happens everywhere. No one likes to be ridiculed, punished, or embarrassed in public. Writing a letter is a way to make sure that your argument or discussion is 100% private. They can read it on their own time, with their own eyes, and not worry about judgement from people around them.

• It is not the norm - Now that we have telephones and the internet, how often do you get hand-written letters? I get maybe… one a year? Getting a letter in the mail that was written by hand is a big deal for me, and I pay attention to it. This unexpected factor alone can be enough to get someone to listen to your side of the story. They will respect the time and effort you have put into crafting the letter.

• Provides an easy way for them to respond – This opens up an avenue for your reader to respond. They can benefit from the reasons mentioned above. You will get a clear understanding of where they are coming from. You will not be able to interrupt them. You can read their opinion in private. Of course, not everyone will respond to your letter with a letter, but this makes the option to respond with a letter appropriate.

Some examples of where a simple letter might come in handy are:

• Writing to your boss about quitting your job.
• Letting a loved one know that you are worried about their lifestyle or bad habits they have.
• Explaining to your boyfriend, girlfriend, husband or wife why you are upset.
• Offering help to a student that is struggling in class or letting them know that their behavior in class is not appropriate.
• Letting a local politician know about some issues that are of major concern to you.

There are many situations in life where a simple letter can help you communicate. Those are just a few. Ask yourself the next time a difficult situation comes up whether or not writing a letter might help.

An Alternative

I know that writing things by hand can be difficult or that some of you might not be comfortable with the look of your handwriting (mine looks terrible!). But even typing out a letter on your computer, printing it out, and sending it by mail can be quite effective. Say what you mean to say. Really give it some thought. Communicate effectively by writing a simple letter.

What are some instances in which writing a letter helped you clearly express your opinion, emotions, or viewpoint? What are some instances in which you wished you had written a letter instead of exploding on the spot or getting cut off by the other person? Leave a comment below and let us know!