Comments on: Get Rid Of People That Clutter Your Life

By: Cat

Cat — Wed, 18 Jan 2012 06:06:16 +0000

It just helps to be super busy and into your own thing for real so you aren’t feeling like you have to fake it. If these types are around me, I obviously needed to learn how to figure them out early. Because once you get in relationships with depleting people, it can be hard to just get out. I am now going to go with my intuition more often. Do I feel comfortable around this person? Sometimes I can feel comfortable with someone, but as I get to know them, I realize they are out to drain me either consciously or not. Now I have to backtrack and see what the red flags were so I can be alert to certain signposts of these types and be a bit more proactive and waste less time.

By: Cat

Cat — Wed, 18 Jan 2012 06:00:45 +0000

As my therapist told me, “You’re not a public service. You don’t have to answer the phone or get back to them.” So I have been slowly weaning off a couple that just don’t get the social cues to back off – especially if you have nothing to offer but always want something.

By: FrailGirl

FrailGirl — Tue, 13 Sep 2011 14:26:48 +0000

Oh, I should add that these unpleasant church people like to give hugs. Now there are several kinds of hugs — and some of my church friends do hug, and it’s welcome. But the nasty people use it as a way of control, and if you refuse, because you don’t want to be fake, they act all offended, so I have accepted many hugs I didn’t want to just to keep the peace. Isn’t that wrong? Isn’t that fake of me? But I can’t do that anymore. The last time this one particularly pushy woman did this (she’s always criticizing me and then rushing off, leaving me with my mouth open in shock — what I call the Blitz Insult). I was talking to someone else, and she was pushing her way in, interrupting my conversation with a friend. So then she came around my side and did a shoulder to shoulder hug — I had no option. Here’s the sicko thing — she dug her nails into my arm, and kept digging, and I guess she didn’t think I’d say anything, but I said, Ow! Loudly. Then she stopped and rushed off. Isn’t that sick? Okay, next time I see this horrid woman, and I’m trapped, I’ll stick out my hand for a shake, but no more hugs. I’d rather avoid her altogether, but if I can’t, then I have a plan.

By: FrailGirl

FrailGirl — Tue, 13 Sep 2011 14:18:05 +0000

This is a valuable post. I recently left a church because several people treated me like labor force. I continue to attend a class on the weekend, so I run into the rotten people in passing. I try not to talk to them, just a cursory hello, but that’s not enough. So sometimes I get caught up (briefly) in a chat. At first they were nice (seemingly), but I wasn’t taking the bait. Now they are more aggressive and make little nasty digs (like, you look awful … you need a new job — you’ve changed! you this/you that). I’m a tired person who works a lot, and I ditched this baptist church because they had me putting in 600+ hours in a year doing all their work when I was already full-time employed. These people thought they owned me and my schedule, and now they’re mad at me because they aren’t able to use me. So now I have a saying, if they can shoot from the hip, then so can I. If someone says, you look awful — I’ll say, wow, that’s a crummy thing to say to a person who’s tired. If someone says, you’re not like you used to be (because I’m not doing all the work), then I’ll say, maybe I’m not how you want me to be, but I’m exactly as I’ve always been. Or like what happened recently at a homeless dinner, when I got dumped on for not running the program (I told them I’m not in charge of it, and that either way things would turn out fine) … I told the woman who was barking at me that she was anxious and needed to relax a little. Ugh. I think I’m going to have to stop attending the weekend class because I run into too many of these people when I’m arriving and when I’m leaving. You know that line from Desederata (pardon my spelling)? It advises to stay away from loud, aggressive people — they are vexations of the spirit? These irritating people fall in that category. I have a lot to give, creatively and generously, and I figure there are good people out there to collaborate with … life is short, time is limited, and I want to be selective and apply my efforts wisely. Thanks for letting me get this off my chest

By: Leo

Leo — Sun, 24 Jul 2011 09:05:53 +0000

ive done it online but i have to play conceited and after that long boring online conversation she chat with me no more, ever.